Overcoming Grief with Space Optimisation
Empathy, compassion, condolences, are just a few emotions and words that come to mind when one suffers a loss. We are either on the receiving or giving end but whatever the case, words have proven to be inadequate in inspiring long term comfort or support but say and hear them we must.
So many factors bear on the bereaved such as personality, experiences, current circumstances but one of the most overlooked factors is one’s past and unresolved (hidden) trauma not to mention other types of losses. How long or how deep one’s grief goes unfortunately can not be determined by a text book, but some studies are available which identify symptoms of grief related dysfunctions prohibiting the healing process and causing many to slide unconsciously into depression.
When my father passed in 2021, learning what grief meant and how to even begin the process for myself while continuing to be strong for others (I’m the oldest of 5) as my father would always tell me, felt like I was fighting a loosing battle. In the meantime, while I was evolving into this new space emotionally, mentally and spiritually, one of the ways I managed the anxiety of the season was to ‘redecorate my bedroom for calm’.
For me, optimising my space to serve both my physical, emotional and mental needs was to have items that reminded me of my father around me. This way I didn’t fight the emotions, deny them or struggle for reference as I am a visual person. Paying attention to my feelings and emotions, giving myself permission to feel and understand them allowed me the awareness of parts of my past that needed addressing, to make peace with them in order to move forward.
Some design tips I used are:
Decluttering my bedroom - minimising the accessories and furniture to aid ‘sleep’. This meant, taking out any extras to avoid the temptation of staying locked away in my room and isolation.
Replaced the art above my bed with spiritual props and an item belonging to my dad - this allowed me to have my prayer shawl and my dad’s hat as the first things I see when I wake up, reminding me to pray which helps me maintain my spiritual anchor.
Instead of pictures on the wall, I opted for a remembrance wall made up of framed letters that inspire me to gratitude.
Until my next spurt of growth and evolution, this space is now optimised for my wellbeing. Of course this looks different for everyone and so to the next person, I become a heart with ears to offer more than consolation. Asking the right questions bring the person(s) in alignment with their present, creates the opportunity for continued awareness and growth for wholeness through their space design and optimisation.
The holistic approach ensures that where kids are involved, they are given preference with a hands-on approach that both teaches them life skills for the future and addresses the otherwise overlooked but avoidable stress related behavioural patterns and dysfunction that show up in adulthood caused by unmet emotional needs.
First things first, we help you identify where you are and what you need, then we’ll find you the help you need. It’s okay to not be ok, but what’s not okay is not admitting that you’re not coping and denying one’s self the help that one needs.
Why? Because whole people make whole communities and you don’t have to do it alone.
Endless possibilities await…
