Void
Yesterday, the newspapers were agog with yet another young man, the co-owner of a thriving (to the best of my knowledge) fast food chain in Lagos Nigeria and former banker/ Shell Nigeria staff, had taken his own life at his home in Lekki, Lagos, Nigeria. I would usually so emotional and sober at such news but today, I was filled with rage! The type of anger that refuses to sit by and do nothing.
Various groups were writing messages about checking up on one another. Yes, noble words and all, until you are the one who falls through the cracks for whatever reason. I just kept thinking, when are we going to say what we mean and mean what we say? Since the “end of Covid19” a new kind of frenzy has been born and this kind glorifies ‘isolation’ where people are so afraid of offending that silence becomes the norm.
There are over 40 grief causing life events and the manifestations may sometimes be triggered by the death of a loved one as it was in my case, but we can’t will it away, or let time heal it by being strong for others, without taking the necessary steps to recovery for ourselves. One of the major components of grief recovery is dialogue. Grief needs an outlet that can only be fulfilled in community and just like Alcoholics Anonymous, it is best achieved in safe communities; a space where you are not judged for prioritising your wellbeing and taking what you need to heal.
This is definitely not suggesting another ‘me too’ campaign or movement but people are suffering in silence - people, not women, or men, PEOPLE!. The sooner we recognise that we need to take back our place as Human Beings first before anything else, the sooner we can heal and thrive.
It is different for everyone, and the recovery process looks different for everyone. If you have a strong will and you feel you’re okay, then that’s awesome for you but please can we get back to the place where we can help the one who is weaker than we are by allowing them the space and resource they need if we can’t help them get it ourselves?
It takes Whole Individuals to form Whole Communities.
If you are struggling to find your tribe or know anyone else struggling to find community, please click the link below and/ or forward to those who need it. You may be saving someone’s sanity, life and the lives of the people they would affect for generations to come.
“Brightly beams our Father’s mercy, from His lighthouse evermore. But to us He gives the keeping of the lights along the shore. Let the lower lights be burning, shine a beam across the waves. Some poor fainting, struggling seaman, you may rescue, you may save!”
